A Father’s Thoughts after Father’s Day

>>Who is your father?  This may be one of the commonest questions that have been heard next to “how are you?” This alone points out greatly the significance that term possess. Everything we see around to come into existence should be fathered by someone, and we humans are no exception at all. But for us the term father is simply not synonym to creator. It possesses the most interpreted thoughts in all sorts of philosophies. From Holy Father (or the forefathers in which Darwin believed) to the latest fathers who purchase medical seats, all are given a special status in each and every family.  He is the family head who has absolute powers and no referendum can dethrone him.  His presence is much wanted by all the members of his family.

Virtually, he is the power around which the entire family move and draw energy. Small kids find in him the broadest mind to entertain them which no costliest toys can substitute. School going children find him as the source of knowledge that listens patiently and answers all the “irritating” questions that come out of their curiosity. If he fails, he is ever ready to take them to the right gurus to clear all their doubts. Right thinking teenagers do nothing without asking his guidance. His counsel is taken in the right earnest since the teenagers know well the advice is based on nothing but love. Life goes like this ,and one day he find his grave not sooner but  after being lucky enough to get his share of his great grand son’s birthday cake.

Do all the fathers among us undergo all these streams? Of course that is debatable. Nevertheless, all are fathers who carry the heaviest of all responsibilities. How they discharge these responsibilities? They vary from person to person. That is why fortunately we have good fathers and unfortunately, we see a small number of bad fathers.

Compelling children to understand the sacrifices made by their fathers seems to be outdated mainly due to the simple fact that they do know much about sacrifice. Training them to be the replica of their own fathers will be primitive in these days of liberty, freedom etc. How a father balances all these things and how he swims against the tide and swims with the tide depend on his caliber. Here cleverness or shrewdness has no role to play. A strong positive emotion of regard and affection should come first. It should be the center stage of all actions performed on children. Always this may not be possible since fathers are also humans fully vulnerable to fallacy. But this fallaciousness should not become the order of the day; otherwise, he will be endangering the sanctity of his position as family head.

A father’s degree of excellence can be easily measured when he meets and resolves the ever rising demands of their children. He should not succumb to all pressures that may jeopardize his integrity and getting vulnerable to every sort of bullying. It needs all the patience in the world and all talking to convince them that their demands are inappropriate to their age or requirements. Once they get convinced that their demands are irrational, they will surely withdraw those. On the other hand, if a father let loose himself thinking he has enough money to dispense, he simply transforms himself into another ATM where kids hang on and on till they get the password to spoil themselves.

Do not try to put into practice the meaningless phrase “quality timing”; think of quantity timing. The more time you spend, you are more away ATMs.  Walking around, cycling, playing all sorts of games that are filled with fun, enjoying the monsoon (if you are not scared of rain water), requesting their assistance while you do the cooking, narrating alien stories which contain some morals; all these will take them to the world where they fully comprehend the value of the term ‘father” Never give a chance to lose their confidence in you. You should promise only those you can do. A father who fails to keep his word on something but as a defense brings in all indigestible sweets and cheap Chinese toys is the biggest fool in the parenting world. If a father has no genuine excuses to convince them, do not go for lame ones. A real father becomes the right model and children simply follow without any coercion and once you go away you will hear the most unfeigned, “We miss you.”

Prathap M.R.
Senior Editor, TechnoparkToday.com
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